no, really.

i’m trying really hard here, folks, but you might need to bookmark some new pages to find me, ok? ready?

twitter.com/MAGirlsPintOut

MA GPO Facebook

rebeccaj.tumblr.com

I promise, you can do it. and look, a pink logo with beer! GO.

i get it.

i’m a terrible blogger. i made this plan for my 29th birthday that i’d come back and blog all the time and well, i failed. i mean, i was in denver at a conference. i was staying out late and drinking with new friends. i was celebrating turning 29 so i didn’t curl into a ball and cry all week. trust me, i thought about it.

i’m trying to process this birthday. where i am, where i want to be when i turn 30 next year. i spent a lot of time walking aimlessly (and getting a little lost) in downtown denver. lots of big thoughts, big hopes. they’ll show up here soon, i promise.

xoxo

change of focus.

things i’m loving right now?

the tan i got yesterday. IN SEPTEMBER. sitting out on a lawn for 6 hours does that, apparently.

maine. it has SO MANY STARS. seriously, i could have sat on that lawn all night looking up at the sky. absolutely gorgeous. granted, i pride myself in living JUST outside the city and having a rooftop view with some stars but really, this was like my roof on crack. times a million.

pumpkin everything. it may not be fall, but after a trip to stonewall kitchen to buy some maple pumpkin butter, my first pumpkin spice latte, and a cupboard stocked with shipyard smashed pumpkin ale i’m feeling ready for fall.

the cool breeze coming in the window. in a fit of madness, i took my AC unit out of the window. the cross breeze in my room is magical and i’m snuggled in a cardigan while typing this post. again, i really love this time of year.

this hole in the wall diner where i had breakfast. seriously portland, you were an amazing distraction and i love you for it.

and so it goes.

my godmother has been sick for awhile. all summer it has been a roller coaster of health, unsure where the next day would lead. on friday, they took her to hospice. my mother called me later that day when my godmother arrived, so i could tell her i loved her. between my tears and choked up voice, i think she heard me. she’s beyond medicated and completely loopy. she kept thanking me for coming to her party and saying how everyone thinks we’re cousins. it’s hilarious and terribly sad at the same time. today she had my mom call me, although she just told me she couldn’t talk because she was having a party (my grandmother and mom were visiting). she asked me what i was doing and i told her i was cleaning my apartment. her response? “i don’t know what that means, but i’m sure you’re having fun.” oh, auntie. i miss you so much already.

there once

was a girl who applied for a job. a seemingly perfect job, one that had her pretty damn excited. it was the talk of the town and she heard good things all over the place about said job. she did not get that job. the town then began to get flooded and the sun didn’t come out for days. ok, so that last part is unrelated but creepy, right? right.

anywho, it’s been two days since i got the news and my first moment of sadness wasn’t even sadness. reading an email on the train from one of the bosses being super supportive and full of love and happiness that they weren’t losing me? that’s when the tears came. and let me tell ya, while i’m trying to get my fill of eminem and riri on the train, tears should not be flowing.

moments like this have been in abundance lately. a couple of months ago i spent a week at a conference where i spent time with an incredible group of people that i’m lucky enough to call friends now. the amount of support and love pouring in? amazing. i can’t really begin to think about it without filling up again. it’s crazy and i know i’m a lucky, lucky girl. i do not need new business cards to tell me that.

this sums it up, as usual.

summer.

i don’t know how it’s gone by so quickly. standing up on the roof last night, staring up at the stars, we were freezing. in a cardigan i couldn’t wrap tight enough around my body, trying to find warmth in the arms around me, i shivered. the cool breeze is pulling fall in so quickly, i don’t know if i’m ready for it quite yet.

but fall? oh, fall. i know a few of us have been screaming about our excitement on twitter for crunchy leaves, scarves, boots, and layers. the colors and the brisk air? favorite. it’s another september i’m thankful to not be packing up and moving. another september where i buy new pens because i miss the back-to-school shopping days. it’s the month where i celebrate turning another year older, another year wiser, and curse time for passing so quickly. i’ve felt like my grandmother a lot lately, whining about how quickly things come and go. wasn’t memorial day last week? i’m embarking on my 30th year, my 29th celebration. i don’t know if i’m ready for it, but i will start with embracing the change in the air.

xo